Green is not a Flattering Color

 "If transwomen want to be women, why do so many appear to hate women?"

I see this or similar sentiments often. While certainly not all transwomen "hate" women, the actions and especially the words of many can make it feel like we do, Go online and you will quickly find transwomen complaining about "cis lesbians" or "TERFs". Maybe they'll even tell you that transwomen are somehow better at being women then women are. It can feel jarring to think that people that claim to be women apparently have so little respect for the group they claim to be a part of.

Where does this come from? In my opinion most of it stems from jealousy. Transwomen are jealous of women, to one degree or another.Yes, even me. The simple fact is that you are what we wish we were. We can go on and on about "trans pride" all we like, but the simple fact is that given the choice, we would have rather been born female. Of course this comes with stipulations a lot of times: "If my life was exactly the same, but I'd always been female." Well that's impossible. "If I'd always been a woman, my life would be like X,Y,Z." While it's nice to have a fantasy of what you THINK life would have been like, you don't really know. And like with most fantasies, the reality never matches up. The way some transwomen view it, you get to be women just by the "luck of the draw", how unfair is that.

Every time that a transwoman says, "What about 'cis' women with beards, or intersex women, or butch women, or infertile women?" what they are really saying is "It's not fair that you consider them to be women and not me. Want to make them really angry? Include transmen and nonbinary females as women. "How dare you include people that don't even WANT to be women, and exclude me from this thing I want so badly!" By saying that no matter what a transwoman does, they will never be a woman, you have denied them what they want. I'm sure most women have an idea of how some males react when they are denied something.

So not only are women what transwomen want to be, they see women as "gatekeeping womanhood" from them. Let's be honest, few men care about this. You have the occasional "You better stay out of the bathroom with my wife/daughter!" and the more common, "Does dating a transwoman mean I'm gay?", but since the majority of TW now are attracted to women, they don't care so much about those men. What I don't think a lot of transwomen realize, is that "being included in womanhood" doesn't really come from which bathroom you use or whether you can play a sport. It comes from how women respond to you, how they interact with you and whether or not THEY choose to include you. It has to be an individual thing, and it can't be forced. Sure, some of that is going to come through physical transition, but it mostly comes from you and how you interact and relate to women. Want to be included? Show women why they would want to include you, don't just yell and stomp your feet.

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