The Rampaging Baby Elephants in the Room
OK, don't shoot me, but I'm going to say something positive about "Detransition, Baby". At one point, a character refers to the current generation of transwomen as rampaging baby elephants. She goes into a longwinded explanation of groups of orphaned elephants that rain destruction, even on each other as a result of both their trauma and the fact that there are no adult elephants keeping them in line. This sounds pretty accurate from what I've seen of trans spaces, both in real life and especially online. Most of my online energy is spent on Twitter. But I've recently started looking at other spaces, specifically trans specific spaces. What I'm seeing is shocking. I'm not at all going to excuse bad behavior, but I think I'm starting to understand why it's flourishing.
First, I keep forgetting that while a lot of platforms say they have age restrictions, children have and always will get around that. I still can't understand how Twitter can have minors on the site and allow posting of nudity. Spaces freely have adults interacting with kids and teens, scary stuff, especially when discussing issues of "gender identity" and sexuality. So a lot of the transwomen may actually be literal babies.
Then you have the actual adults. When someone tells me they are a transwoman, I still foolishly apply my image of a "transwoman" to that person, namely that they have transitioned and live their life 24/7 presenting to the world (or at least trying to) as if they were a woman. What I'm finding though is that, no apparently you now get to claim transwoman status at any point. Still in the closet? Transwoman. Pre HRT and still presenting as a man? Transwoman. Never left your house presenting as a woman? Transwoman. In terms of experience, these adults, regardless of age, are also babies.
So now we have a bunch of baby elephants traveling around together. One baby asks advice, gets an answer from another baby, that baby could have been influenced by yet another baby 2 months ago. This is the new "therapy" folks, the new "support groups". This is the guidance people are getting about not only what BEING a transwoman is like, but even about IF they are trans in the first place. They are learning their behaviors from each other.
So where are the actual adults, those that actually have transitioned, have lived through this and have real advice and insight? There may be a few around, but most have been either driven away by these children or just happily moved into "retirement". All you have to do is see the treatment online of people like myself, Rose of Dawn or Buck Angel. Children don't like being told what to do, even when it's for their own good. So they yell at us, call us "gatekeepers" and "truscum", maybe they even say we aren't really trans. Surely our lives are wrong since they don't match what the Almighty God "The Internet" says about being trans. Truth is, we adults don't owe these children anything. We don't have to put up with the abuse. We don't have to wait for the tantrum to end and for the child to realize, "Mom really did know what she was talking about". So most walk away. We leave these spaces. We go on about our lives, and these spaces become more and more like the Island of Lost Boys from "Pinocchio".
Unfortunately rampaging baby elephants don't confine their damage to just other rampaging baby elephants. The damage is widespread. It is damaging women. It's damaging transsexuals. And it's damaging children that are finding themselves in the paths of these elephants.
Oh Lady I wish that you, and others, who have the necessary knowledge and experience would be listened to.
ReplyDeleteYour article is beautiful and poignant.
I'm so frightened for the "babies" and angry at the abuse being thrown at you and the others.
Please don't stop trying.
You always have just the right words. Thank you.
ReplyDelete